Went job searching today in JP but did not gain any results ..

Because

Sat -> 1 -4 pm Jap class
Sun -> 10 - 1pm Baking Class

All of them wanted fulltime worker ..

If I work everyday except those few hours, am I still considered full-timer?

I had my first baking lesson today..

それからも頑張ってですよね。。。ヘヘ

I always remember most of my dreams and I have a really weird dream yesterday..

My dream
I am hesitating about whether to attend my ex's birthday gathering. My best friend, H, who currently have a boyfriend, advised me to go and will accompany me. She felt that I haven't give up on my feelings for him yet.

Suddenly, H tell me that she is in love with my ex and they are in a relationship. She wanted to send him a love letter and was thinking whether the letter is appropriate and asked me to help her.. (The letter is ridiculous saying, "Dear waffle, ... ." Waffle?? what kind of nick is that?)

I felt really weird, cause she got a boyfriend all that already, why 2-timer? Maybe I am jealous too? (It is a relationship that ends before it starts afterall.. I am not sure if I still like/really liked him) I started sending sms to my ex saying something like H is not really serious with him, and everything to spoil my friend's image XD

Then the next day when I wanted to go out, my ex is waiting somewhere for me to appear(Never see the place before).. I said "Hello" and begin walking off.. Out of a sudden, he said,"你知道我很爱你吗?".. OMG !!! WTH iis that?! I totally got shocked in my dream ..

Too bad my mother appear before I get to reply him.. hahaa .. cause it is time to wake up for work XD

In fact I am really shock in real life too cause I could not forget his last words.. I think I have been waiting for those words for years .. but only get to hear it in my dreams XP (Better than nothing hahha).. I wonder if I still desire to hear it from him? Maybe not ..

To think that I even tried inviting him to our class's night cycling.. Exactly what am I am thinking =_=ll

I am really happy.. Someone messaged me in CR to say thank you for an episode of an anime that I subbed last year. First time someone did that =D Although I only subbed two episodes before ... haha

It makes me feels like someone is really watching what I put an effort to do... XD

The more I think about what I should do in the future, the more I feel as if everything in my life is not complete/perfect .. Everything didnt go as what I planned XD

Pri sch:
P2-> I learnt gymnastic for nearly 1 year and quit before competition (I scare of competition.. but really regret now)
P5-> I learnt electric keyboard until before having its' exams (cause "everyone" is saying piano is a more proper musical instrument)
PSLE-> Planned to study one month ahead and started playing 2 weeks later (Cause my Pri sch tution teacher say it is important to "relax")

So there isn't any purpose in learning gymnastic/keyboard since I can't bend anymore or play much keyboard already. My determination for studying is half-hearted XP

Sec sch:
Sec2-4-> I stop Piano until practical grade 3 with no theory (I dont like the teacher.. )
sec 1-4
-> Always wanted to study hard... but only mid exam good, EOY exam average (cause already don't feel like studying. Tired)
-> Never faithfully/seriously practice my piano, keyboard (cca) or harmonica until last minute.. Even though I claim to like them very much (Too.. proud and confident about my skills last time XD OF course I am lousy..)
-> Dont remember what I study
-> Sign up for 'O' Level music, never hand in application form
'O' Level -> Planned from prelims to 'O's to study, study before prelim and started playing after prelim until the day before each exam.
Alumini -> Only write name there, no participation

Didn't finish my piano or be skilled in any instruments. 'O's results are not as good as they should be.. No memorises of what I learnt.

Poly
1st year
-> Join 3 ccas, quit 3 ccas (After the first cca session)
-> Wanted to be more active in BA Cares, joined one event and didnt continue
3rd year-> Want to join Tsubasa (CCA), yet say and no action
1st - 3rd year-> Still each sem planned one month ahead, study one day before
Results (5 sem)-> Average
Achivement-> None

Nothing is completed .. And the effect of not completing anything is:

When I went back to sec sch for appraisal previously, my ex-T asked me to give her the information about my poly life.. I thought for a long time.. Commitment, results, CCAs, competition, etc.. nothing is worth to mention to her and it might even bring her opinion of me down. Not to mention I joined the alumini but didnt participate in any (Actually is I didnt receive any emails also)

Then, when deciding about my future path..
study?
NTU- accountancy/biz -> the CGPA is only barely reaching, O's eng did not meet requirements
So I consider about being a teacher...
NIE->
Art (art/music): Dont have any relevant cert and portfolios
Science (Lang): Physics nid take test, Eng nid take test etc.. (Because of my 'O' not good enough)

work?
Not my dream to work as an accountant, auditor, cost manager/officer or tax + it is boring to me..
Cannot even take up relief teaching in MOE cause I dont even remember what I learn
I also consider other jobs such as Air-stewardess (Motion sickness), Model (Not tall/ pretty enough), Patissier (No skills) etc..

So... conclusion..
Dont learn/do things halfway, as it does not increases our nice memories or achievements.. Cause not completing = no cert/qualifications, it does not increase our choices of what to do in the future


Opps... I suddenly remembered what is my ambition when I am small.. It is to open a toy factory.. One that manufactures doll houses and soft toys XD

I am feeling really horrible .. headache, neck pain..

Internship manager did not do my appraisal
Mr Lee did not do my appraisal
VP cannot receive my documents and did not do my appraisal

A really big pimple on my forehead

Friend's Bday dont know whether to go and what present to buy
Friend want me to help in the drawing of his gaming competition.. Should I join or not?

Tired ....